7 Rules of Lighter Etiquette

In the world of smoking, a lighter is a powerful tool. But there are some rules surrounding lighter use that everyone should know. Therefore, we have written up our 7 Rules of Lighter Etiquette, so that we can all become better people and smokers.

If these rules were followed, the world would become a complete utopia. (At least as far as cigar smoking is concerned.)

1. Always have a lighter

If you’re running around with cigars, but no lighter, you’re not a smoker. Smokers can light things on fire and create smoke. Thus the name. You, my friend, are just a storage device for cigars.

In essence, you’re a humandor.

Don’t be a humandor. Always come equipped with a lighter, and be a smoker.

They’re also great for social reasons. You can’t be as smooth as the Hollywood gents of old unless you can offer a lady or a friend a light when they’re in need. Be handy with a lighter, and you’ll seem like some smooth, magical dude.

There’s just one catch, though – always warn people before you offer them a light. This brings us to our next rule:

2. Don’t light anyone on fire

We know, we know. You’re super proud of that four-jet blowtorch you got that can cherry a stick of any gauge in seconds flat. But please warn people before you fire it up anywhere near their face. In your mind, it’s the epitome of class to offer someone an instantaneous light while they’re still searching their pockets for their own firestarter.

But we promise – if you set someone’s hair on fire because you’re so excited to be Johnny-On-the-Spot with the flame, you won’t look smooth at all.

Especially when you’re in jail for attempted murder.

3. Never steal one

Seriously. Even if it’s a Bic that no one would miss. Do not pocket a lighter that isn’t yours. You won’t remember its there, and you’ll go home with it. And while we’re not aware of anyone who ever received jail time for lighter theft, we’re quite certain that many who deserved it have gone unpunished. Light up your smoke and then hand it back, freeloader.

4. Don’t play with it excessively

We understand you like to play with fire. We all do. Hell, people were fascinated with fire even before we knew how to make it! In fact, our desire to make fire is probably one of the major reasons that we have civilization at all. But just as fire can help us create, it can also help us destroy, so don’t screw around. Oh yeah, it also wastes fuel. Which reminds us:

5. Keep it fueled

*click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click*
“I almost saw a spark . . . “
*click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click*
“Almost got it… come on!”
*click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click*
“DAMN! Why won’t this thing light? Must be the wind.”

Dude. You’re inside. It’s not the wind. You need to keep your lighter fueled and ready to go. That’s why these things have fuel windows, people. (Well, the fancy ones anyhow.) Speaking of fancy:

Lamborghini Lighters

6. If you have a fancy one, display it

You didn’t shell out all those clams just to have the Lamborghini of lighters parked quietly in your pocket. If you’ve got a nice lighter, leave it on the table for all to see and enjoy! But don’t get confused, here:

7. If you have a crappy one, display it too!

If you’ve got a crappy lighter, don’t be ashamed of it. Not every cigar smoker has ten years of back issues of Cigar Aficionado and a thousand-stick humidor chamber. Some of us just like to fire up a $1 cheapo on Sundays, and that’s just fine. Heck, even if you’re lighting up with a pack of matches taken from a restaurant you didn’t even eat at, lay them on the table with pride!

You don’t need those champagne and caviar people telling you what to do.

Okay, so that covers it, as far as we’re concerned. We’re sure there are lots of other tips and rules we’re forgetting, though. Please enlighten us and contribute to the greater edification of our readership (assuming, of course, that we have one) with your own tips in the comment section below.