Staff Picks: Kelly Sabot
Position: Vice President a.k.a. Boss LADY!
Where did you grow up? Jackson, Michigan
Favorite Candy? Peanut M&M’s. Ferrero Rocher. You name some crunchy chocolate and I can do some damage. But just to make you cringe, I’ll also tell you that I LOVE Good N Plenty.
Animal? Dogs. Hands down. The uglier, the better. And the bigger the better.
Movie? Action or Comedy only. Don’t you dare take me to a chick flick. I don’t like watching movies twice, ever. Forgetting Sarah Marshall, This is the End, The Meaning of Life, Pitch Perfect and Oceans Eleven. If it makes me laugh, that’s really all I care about. I can cry for free all by myself, I’m not paying for it.
Band? Wings, Eagles, Elton John, Police, George Michael, Queen, Toto, Fleetwood Mac, Van Halen, Pentatonix – yeah, I know. I’m all over the place.
Food? Yes. Ice Cream. Lots of it. All the flavors, all the toppings and all the nuts. In a big, heaving mess. Having a brownie or cake at the bottom…that’s understood.
Sports Team? If I’m not playing, I’m not interested. If I’m playing, I pick Running or Racquetball. And I’ll play anything…except maybe dodge ball. What can I say, I like teeth.
If your house was on fire, what would be the first item you would grab? I’ve got a small safe built into the floor. But I’d have to move a couch first that’s over it. So I’d probably think about that, while breaking a sweat trying to push the couch, trying to remember if there’s anything good in there, die from smoke inhalation while trying to be a hero, and some fireman would say “look, she gave her life to save her stamp collection!”
Oh wait, kids. I’m supposed to say kids.
If you were a superhero what powers would you have? The power to bring people back to life. Then I’d be like, hey, I saved you, and they’d be like “B*(&h, I was in HEAVEN, I HATE YOU!”
If your life had a theme song, what would it be? Maybe Small Town by John Cougar Melloncamp, or Boogie in your Butt by Eddie Murphy. What? I said I like to laugh.
If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Warning: Contains Strong/Profane language. There was actually a new word invented for me. Here, I’ll use it in sentence: ‘She curses like a truck-sailor.’ Because it’s so over the top, they can’t put me in just one category. I’m my own special breed of Potty Mouth. As a matter of fact, since I was a kid, my nickname from my parents was SassBox. True story. You can ask them.
If you could travel anywhere right now, where would you go? Dubai. Seriously, have you SEEN that place?
Cigar: Cult Omnetepe – Scrumptious. And because the leaf is grown in Volcano Ash. And that’s just badass. And to be perfectly honest, I’m a sucker for sexy packaging and the box it comes in is so cool it should be my Hope Chest.
Cutter: Stainless Steel Perfect Cut Military Cutter – Because it’s ridiculously heavy. I like the heft. I like the inset Challenge Coin. I collect them. I support all the branches of our military and sometimes I feel like I missed my calling as a Paratrooper.
Lighter: Colibri Enterprise. Colibri because that’s my favorite lighter brand, hands down. Enterprise because it’s a classic. And since there’s nothing classy about me, at least my lighter will be. Plus it’s a triple flame and that’s pretty stimulating. And I like the Rose Gold color – because that’s weird, and I would know if someone else had one that they F(*^&ing stole MINE.
Humidor: The Waldorf – because it’s in the shape of an Arc, so you know, if the world would flood, I’d collect all the woodland creatures in there. Float it out…Take a 40 day cruise with a zoo…
OR…The Tower Cigar Humidor
– because when I’m dead, my friends could raid my stash and bury me in it.